Thursday 26 July 2007

my days for the 'evacuation' at HUKM

22nd july:
at HUKM, i was able to be registered with my sister-in-law's help since she's a doctor there. i had another scan with the doctor there and she confirmed again that it was a 'blighted ovum' case. only God knows how i wish at that time that a miracle could happen. but of course, i understand that... 'itu kehendakNya'.

i was admitted straight away and a series of blood takings, blood pressure tests, etc. were done. it seemed that there were many other serious cases, so i was told that my turn had to be the next day since i had to fast from midnight, as a preparation for the operation. i was quite bored but luckily it was Sunday and my hubby was there to make me feel better and not to think about the miscarriage too much. i was warded together with few pregnant women and some other cases like fibroid case, etc. some of them were even there for more than a month already because of complications. since i had never been admitted for any other case than 'going-to-deliver', so i was quite bored when my hubby had to go. luckily i got through the first night quite well since i was able to have a good sleep (and no nightmares).

23rd july:
the next morning i was told that there are more serious case to be done first, so i guessed my surgery time will be around noon. at around 9am, one of the senior nurses inserted a medicine which will help to dilate and soften my womb, and also open my cervix, so that it is easier for the surgeon to do the suction. i was told that they were going to do a procedure called Evacuation of Retain Product of Conception (ERPOC). the surgeon will insert an instrument to vacuum out the remaining of my miscarriage.

boredom hits me as i didn't know what to do, i couldn't eat or sleep or bathe (they had to insert water through my left hand because i had to fast, so i was told not to get that area wet). about an hour after the medicine insertion, i started to feel the contractions. only God knows how painful it was and my womb was contracting for about 3 hours, nonstop. my hubby was there during the last hour and was helping by rubbing my back constantly. i felt like... giving birth (the contraction was similar as contractions when giving birth).

at around 4pm, i was prepared by the nurses to go into the surgery room. imagine how long i had to wait. after 2 times of bed changing, advices from the surgery nurses of the procedures and general aesthetics, i was fully unconscious for the whole operation. when i woke up, i was already on another bed and costume changed. all was done... i felt a little dizzy until i arrived at the ward again. my hubby was there waiting for me the whole time...

i was advised to try to drink some water and eat. luckily i had a very good appetite and had a good meal after that (my mum-in-law cooked some food for me). i had to stay there for another night (gosh, there goes another boring episode) because they had to wait until i was really fit to be discharged.

24th july:
i was discharged at noon...

zarina.

another sorrow in my path of life...

9th july...

i went for my first scan. my husband and i were so excited that we finally have the chance to see our baby for the first time. we were so anxious to see the fetus. we did not waste our time, i straight away told the doctor that i wanted to do a scan and it was also stated in my last visit. when the doctor was scanning my tummy, we (including the doctor) were shocked to see that the amniotic sac was empty (though the sac was quite small). but the doctor said that it might be to early OR i might have the date wrong. but i was assure that the date i gave was correct, since i always note those important dates for my own reference. the doctor told us to come back in a months time and not to worry. the fetus might be too small to be visible and moreover my bladder was not full at that time to help with the scan.

but we went back home feeling worried... there was a lot of things in my mind. eerie thoughts that even gave me few nights of nightmare during my sleep.


21st july...

we decided to have a second opinion. my cousin, Maria, told us to go see her gynea, Dr Delaila (who is also a specialist at SJMC), to get some advice and thorough check up. we went to her clinic, feeling very tense and unsure if what we were doing was right. we had a little hard time looking for the clinic, since it was night time and we've never gone through that area before.

when we get to the clinic, after waiting for almost an hour (there were already some other patients --> mostly pregnant women at the clinic), it was our turn to go in. i told everything to the doctor and she decided to give me another scan...

the moment we could all see the result at the screen, dr delaila confirmed that it was a missed miscarriage (in other words: blighted ovum). she told us that blighted ovum happens when the fetus doesn't develop because of chromosomal defect reasons but the sac and placenta will keep on growing. my HCG hormones still increases although the fetus is not there... i couldn't express how i felt at that time. i was bursting into tears the whole journey home, the whole night and the whole of next morning. what made me feel more sad is that i didn't have any pain or bleeding for the miscarriage... and dr delaila advised me to do the 'cleaning' as soon as possible, as it could endanger my life if i began to bleed.

we decided to register at HUKM for the cleaning...

zarina.